We all have some beliefs rooted deep in our mind. Not all are consciously chosen by us but actually forced to us unconsciously. I know that’s kind of hard to accept but the truth will still remain the truth.
Okay, let me give you few pieces of evidence
1) Remember, you fumble while talking in the meeting, or in front of a group of people. Why? Because you fear. Why? because in young age, you had a bad experience with public speaking which made you believe that you are actually bad at it.
2) Remember, during school open house, your teacher told that you are very weak in math; and guess what! you believed that and math has never become your favorite subject since then,
3)Remember your dad has told you that you are quite good in sports and guess what? You are actually flaunting your skills in sports.
…and much more proof are there to make you understand that out belief system is built on our perception of the world, evidence, and time we spent thinking it as truth.
So, how can we change the BS? well, good question folks!
To change the belief system, we need to focus on the 3 pillars on which it is built upon. So let’s dive in it.
We have seen that many beliefs are pinned in our mind since very tender age. Find out what are such limiting beliefs that are actually hindering your progress and pulling you back. This is the first and foremost step in building a new belief system. Until and unless we don’t see the pain we go through due to limiting belief system, we won’t be motivated and willing to acquire new beliefs.
Once you are done with finding limiting belief, then write new belief you want to change them with. For example,
1) Limiting belief : “I am lonely. People hate me.”
Empowering belief : “People love to be with me”.
2) Limiting Belief : “I am bad at public speaking”.
Empowering belief : “I am confident and can speak fluently in front of a group of people”.
…..and so on.
Here the key is to have positive perception about yourself.
Umm, I know at this moment, you will be having two conflicting thoughts in your mind. One is negative and other is positive. This phase of mind is called as “Cognitive Dissonance“. So to get over of this you need to find proof that will put more weight on the positive belief in mind. And then comes the second pillar of BS in picture.
2) Proof :
When we have a negative perception of ourselves, our brain starts to look out for proof. Limiting belief has a negative outcome attached to it. So when we actually perceive ourself as bad at public speaking its because we had a past negative outcome (or experience as you name it) attached to it which made us believe in negative belief.
So if you want to perceive that you are good at something then try to build references. No matter how small they seem.
For example, let’s say that you want to believe that you are good at public speaking. The moment you try to tell this to your mind, it will start looking for proof. So here what you can do is, think of all those times when you had a talk or a discussion with your family or close friend. And that should do the trick. This will give your mind a reference that will empower this new belief.
Your mind is your greatest tool and you can have full control over it.
But many times, we don’t have enough shreds of evidence to support the new positive belief. Here the catch is, you should fake it until you actually build some references. Take actions to generate some proof.
So if you are very shy in speaking in front of a group of people, first start to have a chat or a discussion with family members, and friends. slowly-slowly building references for your new belief system.
Time plays a crucial role in building a belief system. We need to give time to new belief to take the place of old belief. Here persistence is the key. In general, it takes from about 21 to 66 days for a person to become habitual to something. So don’t give up it between.
I know it’s quite overwhelming at the start but think about it. Give it a try. After all, you don’t have anything to lose here but if you follow this deliberately then results are rewarding.
loads of love, take care folks. 🙂