The Final Frontier

Ever get the feeling that you’re being herded away from home or shackled to a tree? Yes, I can see all the girls in their 20s nodding, and guys too, ‘coz ya know, I’m impartial.

If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, I guess you must be living under a rock (outside India).

Of course I mean the parental pressure of getting married soon, and if possible, before Sharmaji’s IIT-alumnus son goes off the marriage market.

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If you came here looking for an article on Star Trek after being misled by the title, I sincerely apologise.

A recent encounter with one of my oldest friends brought this topic to my mind (I’m looking at you, J). What are some reasons your parents give to convince you to get hitched? I’ve come across the following in >20 years of my life:

1) Padhai ho gayi, job lag gayi.. what next?

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The most common and depressing reason of all. Why mom, why can’t I go on a world tour with my friends instead? Why can’t I leave my well-paying job and join the start-up bandwagon? Why can’t I sit with a bag of chips watching Netflix all weekend?

2) Dada/Dadi’s last wish

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Serious emotional blackmail, I kid you not.

3) “We want grandchildren soon” or “You’ll be old before your own kids grow up”

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This is in conjunction with my previous point. Old people just want toys to play with, and those toys just happen to be your future offspring.

4) Younger sibling wants to get married

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Well, good for him/her. But I still don’t understand why I have to do it first.

5) “All your friends are getting married”

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Sometimes I feel friends aren’t even worth having if you have to sacrifice yourself at the altar for this (see what I did there?).

6) The relatives, neighbours, milkman, cable guy, etc.. are talking 

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How about “IDGAF”?

7) “Your biological clock is ticking”

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This is for my fellow ladies. How many times has this curve ball been thrown at you? FYI, adoption and IVF exist too.

8) You’re starting to put on weight/ lose hair

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Let’s not embarrass ourselves by denying it. And this is given as a legit reason because people don’t want to marry other “slightly overweight” people. Hypocrites.

9) “Mom needs help with the chores”

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This is for the dudes out there (didn’t think I’d forget you all, did you?). So, your future wife has to be a maid, does she? Why not get household help and pay for it, instead of trying to get one for free?

10) “This is our last responsibility towards you”

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If I can work for a living, I can take care of myself. So, thanks but no thanks.

Can you identify with these? I know I can. All eligible bachelors and bachelorettes, unite!

My only request to parents of unmarried (notice how I didn’t say “single”? Because there’s a difference) ADULTS reading this is, please let your children make these decisions on their own. If you raised them well, they will surely make the right one 🙂

Have you come across any of these or more? Write to us. We’d love to hear from you!